THE VORIS FAMILY

What I Learned From Jackson

2011-03-17T05:23:00.000-07:00

I have decided that I think every parent needs to have at least two children. Why? The first go around is such a learning experience. As a first time mom I read all the books, did a ton of research about sleeping, breastfeeding, vaccinations, etc. before Jackson arrived and then once he was here I spent the next 3 years trying to figure out how best to use my knowledge as well as my maternal instincts to raise this little guy in this crazy world. In looking back over that time I have realized that while the books and advice (sometimes unsolicited) at times were helpful, bottom line: each child is unique and is going to develop, eat, sleep, poop, smile, laugh, crawl, walk, run, talk, etc on his/her own pace. And the first go around as a parent can be somewhat stressful in trying to do everything the way in which we "think" it should be done. Like when the books say, "Don't allow your child to fall asleep at the breast". I remember constantly tickling Jackson's feet and talking to him to prevent this "catastrophe" from taking place. If he's tired, who am I to stand in the way of allowing him to sleep? I should have laid him down and taken a nap myself!!

In realizing all of this, I think it has allowed me to be more relaxed and laid back as a parent the second time around. Don't get me wrong I still pull a Shirley MacLaine from Terms of Endearment and check that Brady (and even Jackson still) is breathing. But, in terms of breastfeeding, sleeping patterns, etc. I am not worrying about the little details and tips that all the books suggest or encourage. I am trusting in my maternal instincts (and taking a few lessons learned from Jackson) to help me this time around.

Biggest Lesson Learned from Jackson: I WILL SLEEP AGAIN!!! I remember waking up with Jackson every 2-3 hours and come morning time be so grumpy and thinking that I will never get a good night's sleep again. I had so many friends whose babies were sleeping through the night by 3 months old. I would wonder if I was doing something wrong, was I letting him nurse too often? But, eventually (probably closer to a year old) he did start sleeping through the night and then by 18 months-2 years he would even sleep in (hallelujah!!).

So, on these early mornings after a night of feedings and not being able to fall back asleep, I am not grumpy (usually :)), instead I take advantage of my one on one time with Brady and am thankful that I have the opportunity to do this the second time around.

I hate that Jackson has to be the guinea pig for the majority of Kelly and my's parental errors and blunders (but we were both first borns who probably experienced the brunt of the same mistakes). But, I am so thankful for the lessons he has taught me as a mother and a person!! I am looking forward to learning even more from him and from Brady.

Brady Kenneth

2011-03-09T06:08:00.001-08:00

On January 25, 2011 @ 3:27pm we welcomed Brady Kenneth Voris to the world. He was bigger than big brother, Jackson weighing in at 8 lbs 9 oz and measuring 22 inches. He has been such a blessing and we couldn't be happier around here. His demeanor appears to be very laid back. He is very content and happy to sit back and observe the happenings around the house. If he is hungry or tired he will let you know, but other than that he is a very happy, content baby :)

Due to my previous c-sections with Jackson and Kenley, Brady's birth was planned and scheduled. I have to admit - it was kind of nice! I was able to get my house clean and I made arrangements for my parents to come down and stay with Jackson while we were in the hospital. Although I had my plans in place in case I went into labor on my own and we made a 2 am trip to the hospital (thank you Kyle and Ashley for being ready just in case:)), it was nice to not have to make the unexpected trip to the hospital and juggle Jackson around. So, on the morning of the 25th I made Jackson pancakes, picked up the house, and made sure we had all of our stuff ready to go. I dropped Jackson off at preschool and then Kelly and I headed to the hospital. I will admit, the nerves kind of got to me as we were on our way there. I had a peace that everything would be okay, but I was still nervous about the surgery and was just anxious to hear Brady's cry.

We checked in at 1:30 and by 3:27 he was here!!

We lucked out and were out of the hospital in 48 hours - with my previous c-sections I was in there for at least 72 hours, so it was definitely nice to go home and get better sleep than what we were getting in the hospital. Kelly and I were both ready to lose it on the night nurse who only spoke in one volume: LOUD. I swear she was yelling every time she came in, at one point all of us were sleeping and her loud voice even startled Brady and he woke up crying. There is always one, right? :)

Jackson was spoiled by all of our family and received so many fun toys, books, coloring books, etc to keep him entertained when he came up to the hospital to see his new baby brother. He was so proud. The first night we were at the hospital I sent my mom a text message with a picture of Brady. She was putting Jackson to bed when she got it and she showed the picture to him. She texted me back and said that Jackson got a really big smile on his face when he saw it and then wanted to know what Brady was doing that night. It made me happy to know that he was already so interested in what Brady was up to. He is also a very protective big brother! Brady was jaundice and after we left the hospital we had to follow up with the pediatrician to keep an eye on his levels. So, our first day home we had to make a trip to the pediatricians office as well as the lab for blood work. When we got to the lab, the tech had to prick Brady's heel to take blood. When this happened, Jackson got a horrified look on his face and demanded to know what the tech was doing to his little brother. It was very sweet :)

Kelly, Jackson, and Brady @ the hospital

Jackson and Brady @ home

Kisses

Brothers, hanging out

We are so happy that Brady is here and that he is healthy. We are enjoying every day and cherishing this little blessing in our lives!

Big Brother Jackson

2011-03-08T08:36:00.000-08:00

This was Jackson's first time holding Brady after we were home. Brady was 1 week old and I took the opportunity to ask Jackson some questions about his little brother. He has been such a great big brother to Brady and a HUGE help to me. He is always wanting to help with diaper changes, baths, etc. I do think he will be excited when Brady is actually old enough to interact with him though. Just this morning he was asking Brady if he wanted to play tic-tac-toe with him...I told him he's gonna have to wait a little while :)

It's Been Awhile...

2011-01-13T20:22:00.000-08:00

my oh my...where to begin...

Its been well over six months since I last got on to post anything on this blog. Don't even know if anyone bothers to read it anymore. But, I have decided that I need to get back on and start writing.

I have a lot of pictures and stories that I want to share on here so starting today I will begin working on getting that accomplished!!

Summer Vacation

2010-07-20T18:52:00.000-07:00

I've been bad about posting and keep all of you who read this blog up to date about our happenings...I will admit...I've been tired and sick and haven't had much energy outside of the day-to-day duties to get much done. Kelly's probably really excited that he comes home to me in my pj's, hair up, and no make-up everyday :) But, thankfully, I am finishing up my first trimester and the nausea has begun to subside and my energy levels are beginning to pick back up!!

A couple of weeks ago we took a trip out to California for our summer vacation - the highlight was being a part of Kelly's brother, Kyle's wedding to his new wife Ashley. The wedding was in Santa Barbara and we were able to spend an entire week there enjoying the cool weather, the gorgeous town, and our family and friends. Before heading to Santa Barbara we went to San Diego first to enjoy the beach and Sea World. Last summer we took a trip out to San Diego with my parents and brothers and took Jackson to Sea World for the first time. He LOVES Sea World and "Shampu". When we went back to Sea World, he totally remembered his first trip there and just wanted to see "Shampu" jump. He was quite impatient and unhappy to watch "Shampu" just swim around - he wanted to see jumping!!

Our vacation was nice and relaxing. The weather was pretty overcast the whole trip but I didn't mind a bit. I was happy to get out of the heat and it did wonders for my nausea! Here are some pics from our vacation:

Kidney Bean

2010-06-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

Oh my, it has been a quick and long two weeks...is that even possible!?! If I was ever nauseous with my previous pregnancies, I don't remember it being like this. Not fun. I was talking with Kelly the other day and I was saying something about if a lot of women have morning sickness that lasts all day for days on end how do they end up having 4, 5, 6 kids...his response..."it's probably kind of like a bad hangover...you wake up and feel like crap after a night of drinking and vow never to drink again...but then a few weeks go by, you forget about that crappy hangover and you do it all over again". I thought it was a wonderful analogy. I LOVE that I am pregnant and I am sure that when all this morning sickness passes and I feel energized again, and after this baby is born and I am past the sleepless nights, there will come a day where I will be saying...how about another one?? :)

Anyway, enough complaining about the morning sickness, its just a part of pregnancy that I am more than HAPPY to deal with as it is a friendly reminder that the little kidney bean (the food analogy this week) is growing well!! I had another ultrasound last Friday, my appointment the week before had to be cancelled and rescheduled. Of course my uterus is tilted forward and it took my doctor a few minutes to find the little kidney bean (I secretly started to panic internally), but once it was located, he/she measured right on target - 7 weeks 5 days - and had a healthy heartbeat of 143 bpm. All in all, a wonderful visit and I go back on July 9 for another.

In other news, we have been busy these past few weeks. Jackson started swim lessons and he is a little fish!! Today he was floating all by himself in the pool, I was so proud of him. His swim lessons teacher has coined him the next Michael Phelps...he said it, not me :) He really is doing awesome, jumping off the side and swimming to me, swimming back to the wall. We are now working on teaching him how to come up for a breath to be able to keep going longer. But, as of now he has got quite the lung capacity and will just swim, swim, swim without taking a breath. It gives me a little sense of relief since we spend so much time at the pool during the summer I would like him to learn how to swim sooner rather than later!!

We also took a trip to the zoo two weekends ago. We scored with the weather...only 93 degrees that day and we went in the morning so it was so nice out. We took the train and rode around catching some glimpses of all the animals and then browsed around a bit. We invested in a zoo membership this year, and we are so happy we did. We have already been to the zoo 4-5 times since we bought it in the beginning of May. Jackson loves the zoo and it is such a fun place to go for the day or even a couple of hours if we want.

Here are some pics of our fun day:

Lima Bean

2010-06-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

So, today was a nice, relaxing lazy Sunday. Sometimes life gets so busy that I feel like we are always go, go, go and when a day like today rolls around I LOVE them and CHERISH them!

Yesterday I threw a bridal shower for my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Ashley. It was by far the most relaxing and enjoyable bridal shower I have been to. It was just a small group of her girlfriends and we just hung out, enjoyed some food - they enjoyed some wine :) - and we just talked about life, husbands, babies, etc. and Ashley got some beautiful gifts and a pretty awesome wine collection to go home with. Kelly was awesome and took Jackson and our niece Dez for the day so that I could get the house ready in the morning and then have the afternoon for the shower. He took them to the Zoo, Peter Piper Pizza, and the movies - needless to say Jackson was passed out by 8. He was pooped!! Although the shower was relaxing, its always a lot of work putting those types of events together so Kelly, Jackson, and I were all ready for a lazy Sunday :) And best part about today's lazy Sunday...college softball was on all day and we love watching it, especially when Arizona is playing.

As for this little "lima bean" (I am six weeks today and my weekly email told me that the baby is the size of a lima bean this week) growing in my belly...it is doing a great job of letting me know that he/she is doing great and the pregnancy is moving right along...I have ALL the symptoms going on and as much as the constant nausea is NOT fun I am so thankful to have it...if that makes any sense.

I had my first Dr. Appt last Friday. It went well. He did an ultrasound to make sure that the pregnancy was in the uterus, where it should be. But, I am still so early all I got to see is the sac...nothing too exciting. I go back this Friday for another ultrasound in hopes of seeing my little "lima bean" and a heartbeat!!! I have been getting my lab work done once a week and all the numbers on that are looking good too :)

And thank you, thank you, thank you for all the prayers, keep them coming...I am true believer in the power of prayer and now know that if you need them...ask for them...it works!!!

The Best News!

2010-05-28T02:56:00.000-07:00

We found out this week that we are expecting a baby!! I cannot express in words how excited we are as this is something that we have wanted for a long time!! I am very early in my pregnancy, and I have never been one that can wait until what is considered the "safe" time to share the news of expecting a baby. I have learned that really, you are never really "safe" anyway...you have to protect your pregnancy and your baby the whole way through! Plus, I figured that this would be a great time to ask for lots and lots of prayers for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby :) I have a peace about this pregnancy and have been praying everyday that God will watch over me and this baby and keep us healthy and protected. I am eating good and walking and resting when I need it. Jackson even understands that I can no longer carry him everywhere because of the "little baby in my tummy".

The nice thing about a blog is that it is a good way for me to keep family and friends updated on what is going on so I plan to use this throughout my pregnancy to keep whoever is interested up-to-date on what is going on. I have a fabulous Dr. who I think will worry more than I will and is already doing everything he can to keep me and this baby healthy. I called his office the morning I found out I was pregnant and that same day he had me go in to get my blood work done. His office also scheduled my first appointment in the beginning of June. His wonderful nurse, Kathy, called me with my results the next day. I was definitely pregnant, the only concern was that my progesterone level was not where he would like it. Mine was at a 22, he likes to see his patients at a 25 or higher so he is putting me on prometrium (progesterone) through my 12th week. I have to get my blood work done again early next week to confirm that the prometrium is doing its thing. He will then monitor me through weekly blood work until about my 10th or 12th week of pregnancy.

When I first met with Dr. Seal, he was very understanding of my situation with my pregnancy with Kenley. I know that he will take good care of me and do everything in his power to make sure nothing happens to this baby. He also made it clear that he would be prescribing a fetal heart rate monitor for me to have at home so that I can monitor the baby's heart beat on a daily basis. It will be such a comfort to have that at home and know that I can check the heart beat anytime of day for reassurance if I need it!

I am so thankful for this blessing and so incredibly excited for the opportunity to bring a little one into this world. Jackson is going to be an amazing big brother and I know will be so good with this baby. Now I am going to attempt to get some sleep despite my early pregnancy insomnia :)

Molly

2010-03-01T08:20:00.001-08:00

This is Molly.

She is 13 weeks old.

She is an American Bulldog.

Kelly brought her home unexpectedly one Saturday evening a few weeks ago after a long day of golf. At first I was irritated because she was a surprise and because Smalls our other dog has just gotten past the chewing and the peeing and the not listening. He is now an almost perfect dog and I thought I could start just enjoying him without the headache of puppy training although we will always have to deal with the 10 lb. landmines in the backyard.

But,

Molly has been just what I needed.

She is sweet, and cuddly, and not very hyper (yet).

She plays good with Jackson and Smalls.

She loves to snuggle at my feet while I'm on the computer.

She snuggles on my chest while lying on the couch.

And she sweetly lets me know when she needs to go potty in the middle of the night.

She is all girl and I LOVE her!!

Frustrated and Humbled

2010-01-28T07:12:00.000-08:00

Wanting a baby and not being able to have one when you want one is by far one of the most frustrating and humbling experiences. Kelly and I have been trying to have another baby for almost a year now. I know in the world of infertility 10-11 months of trying to conceive unsuccessfully isn't that long and that Drs and experts out there say that something like 87% of all women conceive within a year of discontinuing the use of birth control, so technically I fall within that window still. But, for me personally, this has been a frustrating yet humbling (I get to that part in a minute) time period. Especially the last 6months.

With my first two pregnancies, we didn't have to "try" to get pregnant. It just happened, and it happened quickly. So, I guess this time around I thought that it would be the same. But, it hasn't happened that way. These past few days I have just been frustrated and sad and am reaching the point where I might just want to be done with trying to have another baby. As much as people tell you, "stop trying and thinking about it, then it will just happen"...well, when you really want to have a baby as much as you try not to think about it, come that week when you are supposed to get your period, you ALWAYS think about it. There is no way around it. So, here I am sitting here typing on my computer letting out my frustrations.

Now for the humbling part. As frustrated as I can get, I know that God has a plan and I just don't understand it yet, knowing that humbles me and reminds me to quit having a pity party and get on with my day and be thankful for the blessings that I do have in my life, which I feel are abundant. I also have now realized that from this point on whenever I do get pregnant the best part about it will be this...

If Kenley's birth had resulted differently and she had been born healthy and full-term on March 13, today she would be 10 1/2 months old. Sooo, if Kenley was here on Earth with us it would be totally be possible for me to get pregnant today with a third child. Basically, my next child would be here regardless. Does this make sense?? In the back of my mind I always thought about having my third child and when that child gets older explaining to him or her what had happened to Kenley. If this child was anything like me, he or she would probably try to figure out how old Kenley would be and what their age difference was (I am the type of kid who counted back from when I was born to find out when I was conceived and realized that more than likely I was conceived around the time my parents got married since I was born 9 months and 9 days after my parent's wedding date - yes mom, I do this kind of thing all the time :)). Knowing this, I never wanted my next child to feel as though he or she just replaced Kenley. And now, given the time frame and knowing that today Kenley would have been 10 1/2 months old had she been born healthy and full-term, now would probably be the time that I would start trying for my next child.

So, with all of this said, as frustrated as I am at times, I am also humbled in knowing that God has a plan and I am reminded of how well He knows my heart and desires and has waited to bless me with child when He knows is right for our family.

Counting Calories

2010-01-08T05:42:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share a website that I use when I am being serious about losing weight. I am not an expert, I have a long way to go to reach my "goal". But, I know that I always find great ideas for a variety of things reading blogs - everything from recipes, to craft projects, to Christmas gifts - so I thought I would share something with you:

http://caloriecount.about.com

The best part about it?

IT'S FREE!

I have always heard that the best way to lose weight is to write down everything that you eat and count your calories. My problem was that I like to cook and combine various ingredients into my meals so it was a pain in the behind to read each and every label and determine how much of each ingredient I used, how many servings I had made, and then add and multiply, and the list of frustrations could go on. With this website you can create a profile for yourself, then you can log your food and activities to have a pretty good idea of how many calories you are consuming and how many calories you are burning. Because the bottom line of losing weight is having a daily calorie deficit - burn more calories than you consume! And the other nice feature about this site for those of you who like to prepare a cooked meal rather than a prepackaged one? You can type a recipe into their recipe generator and it will tell you the entire nutritional breakdown of your meal including calories based upon the number of servings. There is also an extensive database that you can search for food items and their calorie contents.

For any of you out there looking for yet another way to try to shed those few extra pounds, maybe this will help. It is helping me get on track to help me reach that goal of mine...we won't say the goal specifically just know its about 20 pounds less than the number I see right now :)

Too much time with Mommy???

2010-01-05T08:52:00.000-08:00

I accidentally left my bag of nail polish and manicure supplies low enough for Jackson to reach. I was folding laundry and I noticed the house was much too quiet so I went searching for Jackson. I found him in his playhouse in the backyard quietly leaned over painting his toes bright pink! I wish I would have had my camera with me because it was priceless, but I was able to get a picture once I got him inside and cleaned up because he got bright pink nail polish on more than just his toes. Still, for 2, I think he did pretty well. Kelly did inform me that I MUST keep the nail polish out of Jackson's reach.

I don't think he enjoys seeing his little boy walking around with pink toes :)

Welcome 2010!

2010-01-04T11:47:00.000-08:00

Goodbye 2009, Welcome 2010!

Some of my best 2009 Memories:

Seeing my dear boy turn 2 years old and having so much fun at his Thomas the Train birthday party!
Family Reunion in North Dakota.
Family Vacation to San Diego and watching Jackson fall in love with Shamu aka "Shampoo".
Spending time with all of our families.
Watching Jackson grow into such sweet, polite, and considerate little boy.
Growing closer to our Heavenly Father.
Surprising Kelly with a trip to Chicago for his 30th birthday and getting to celebrate Kyle and Ashley's engagement there as well!!
Making Kenley's 1 year anniversary a fun, happy day!
Going back to school for my masters degree.
Every day that I get to enjoy Jackson and Kelly, they truly bless my life beyond words!

Here are some of my 2010 "resolutions":

Work out, work out, work out (who is this never not a resolution for?).
read the gospel daily.
spend MORE quality time with Jackson.
take Jackson to the library once a week to further instill a love of reading in him.
Date night with my hubby once a month (at least!!).
Write thank you notes on time (Christmas thank you's are on their way, I promise!).
Try out a new recipe once a week.
Send pictures more frequently to grandparents and great-grandparents.
and last but not least I pray everyday that I may be blessed with another precious child and I am hoping that that prayer just might come true sometime in 2010!!!!

Here's to a fabulous 2010!!!!!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T00:28:00.001-08:00

As I sit here at a very early hour of Christmas morning getting ready to head to bed I have been overcome with such a spirit of thankfulness. I just finished all of my "santa" duties one of them helping to fill the stockings. As I placed a beautiful angel ornament into Kenley's stocking I realized just how lucky we all are and how thankful I am for the birth of Jesus Christ. It is because of him that I will have the opportunity to see Kenley again, one day. I sure hope that it is not any time soon as I have the most precious little boy here with me that I want to enjoy to the fullest every single day, but I so look forward to the day when I not only get to meet our Savior, but that I will also have the opportunity to see my little girl, healthy and happy.

For me, the holidays are about spending time with the ones you love the most, so I hope that everyone has the opportunity to spend their time with their loved ones and I hope that everyone takes a moment to remember why we celebrate this most awesome holiday, Jesus Christ!

Much Love to you all!!

P.S. I know that the Santa picture doesn't really go with this post, but I also LOVE the Santa things and LOVE these cheesy mall santa pics :) I couldn't resist and just had to share it with all of you!

Christmas Traditions

2009-12-09T13:49:00.001-08:00

There are so many different traditions that I want to make sure I do with Jackson and our other children. There are some that I have already started and some that I plan to start when the time is right, or I get organized enough to do them :) But this year, my favorite tradition that I have begun is our bedtime routine. I had read about this idea in a magazine a long time ago and meant to do it last year but I didn't. This year is actually a better year for it because Jackson is really into Christmas and is super excited about presents. I know a lot of people have advent calendars that they have their kids use every year to count down the days until Christmas, well we have one too, just a variation on the traditional one. I sat down with Jackson and together we picked out some of his favorite books and I also chose some that we haven't read in a while and I wrapped all of them up in wrapping paper. They are now sitting under our tree and every night Jackson gets to choose one book (gift) to open and that is our bedtime story for the night. He gets very excited about it! I purposely wrapped and marked 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, so that that one gets opened on Christmas Eve since reading that book that night is another tradition.

The first two nights Jackson opened the two books I included pictures of above. The Giving Tree has always been one of my favorites and it had been on the shelf unread for a while so I was excited when that happened to be the first book that Jackson unwrapped the first night we started this. I am sure that most people know the story and as we were reading it and the tree was telling the boy to gather it's apples and sell them to make some money, Jackson gets up and goes to the refrigerator and comes back with....an apple!! It was so stinking cute. I guess the story made him hungry for an apple :)

The second book he opened, "How Do Dinosaurs Say Good Night" is an awesome book for any of you with kids who like dinosaurs. The book is short, sweet, and oh so cute. I highly recommend it. Its a great read aloud for toddlers with limited attention spans too !!

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful holiday season with your loved ones!! God Bless!!

Butterfly Release

2009-12-07T07:02:00.000-08:00

On Kenley's first birthday we released butterflies. My mom ordered some caterpillars that Jackson got to watch change into butterflies. He helped me feed and care for the butterflies until Kenley's birthday and that morning along with Kelly and my family we went down to the park and released the butterflies one by one. It was very sweet and we had a photographer come to capture it on film. This photo is one that she posted on her blog, and she is mailing me the cd with all of the pictures on it today so later this week I should have all of them. Those butterflies were fast little suckers and didn't hang out for long, but a few of them lingered in my hands and I am hoping she was able to get a couple more good shots of this special moment.

One Year

2009-12-01T06:22:00.000-08:00

One year has gone by since Kenley left to be with her Father in Heaven. I don't know how I feel about it. On one hand I feel like I can truly move forward now, I kind of feel like I have been in a state of limbo just "waiting" for it to be one year. Since August I constantly found myself thinking about the same time last year and where I was in my pregnancy and recalling what was going on in that time of my pregnancy. Especially in the month of November because I just kept reliving everything and often found myself trying to recall when the last time I felt her move was.

I had really wanted to do SOMETHING in honor of Kenley on what would have been her 1st birthday. I talked with my mom about it and I decided to do a butterfly release. Her birthday fell on a Saturday which was perfect. My mom and dad and brothers came down. We had made arrangements with a photographer to come and capture some pictures of Jackson helping me to release the butterflies. Jackson had been helping to care for the butterflies for a few weeks. We got them as caterpillars and watched them change into butterflies and then fed them daily using orange slices, fresh flowers and sugar water. I recently started talking to Jackson about Kenley a lot more and I will share more about that in a little bit. We have yet to see the proofs from a photo session, but I am hoping that she got some good ones of the butterfly release. It was a great day. After pictures we went to lunch and then Jackson got to head to Nana and Papa's house for the weekend. Kelly and I got to spend the afternoon together and we went to dinner and then to see Ron White, it was so funny and a great end to the day. I don't think that there were any tears that day, it was just a good, happy day :)

The hardest thing about this time of year is that I think it makes everyone reflect on those loved ones who have passed away. As I was getting out all of my Christmas decor this past weekend I was flooded with memories of Kenley and last years holidays. I really more or less just went through the motions last year. I had all these plans to start traditions with Jackson and our family and it just didn't happen, but I do plan to get them all going this year! I hadn't bought too many things for Kenley when we got the news about her. But, I had ordered her a tutu from a website that had the cutest picture of a little girl about 6-9 months old sitting in a cute little onesie and tutu. I thought that Kenley would have been about that age this Christmas and it would make a great Christmas picture. So I had ordered and it had arrived in the mail while I was in the hospital. After I had gotten home from the hospital I saw the box on my counter and just placed in the closet unopened for a long time. I finally opened and saw the adorable little tutu and wondered what I should do with it. I didn't want to just get rid of it. So, it has sat in my closet for an entire year and this year as I was decorating our tree and placing the many ornaments that we have in honor of Kenley on the tree I remembered that tutu. Our tree unintentionally became a tribute to the AZ Cardinals thanks to my love for red and the fact that our first Christmas Kelly insisted on getting this AZ Cardinals santa hat that became our tree topper. Kelly had put the santa hat on top of the tree and I decided to get out that tutu and have be a part of our Christmas tree decor since I had purchased it for use during the holidays. This is the final result:

It kind of looks like our AZ Cardinals santa hat has a wig underneath it and most people will probably think it looks silly, but to us it has more meaning and love attached to it than I can put into words. I think it looks adorable and I love it :)

I had also ordered new stockings for last Christmas because I really wanted nice stockings that we can reuse every year. I ordered them from Pottery Barn in October and they arrived about 2 weeks before I delivered Kenley. I am so thankful that I ordered her stocking for her.
It will also be a tradition in this house at the holidays for Kenley to have her stocking hung with her family's. And I am pretty sure that Santa will leave a special gift for her every year in it as well.

Last Christmas we received many ornaments for Kenley and I love every single one of them, but I do have to say that I think this one is my favorite. The footprints are her actual footprints which I love. They are true to size and I still find it amazing how tiny she truly was. I love that I can put my tree up and have so much what is on be for her since she can't be here with us. If she is looking down she has no doubts that her family is always thinking of her!
I haven't really talked to Jackson too much about Kenley until recently. One day while we were at the grocery store picking up a few pumpkins so that we could carve our pumpkins that night I told Jackson that I wanted to get a little one for Kenley and he said okay. I asked him, "Do you know where Kenley is?" And without any hesitation he says, "up there" and pointed to the sky. I truly believe that we all have veil that keeps us seeing only that which He wants us to see and for children and babies that veil is removed or at least very, very sheer. I have no doubt that Jackson knows Kenley and has his understanding of where she is. I want him to grow up knowing about her and what happened. I don't want him to grow up and find her pictures or her death certificate or her ashes and ask about it and feel as though we were hiding it from him. I want him to grow up knowing about her and feeling comfortable to ask any questions that he might have about it.

This is picture frame that holds a picture of Kenley's feet in it. I found it at Ross of all places and I love it. I think that what it is says is perfect...

"The best and most Beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen nor heard, but are felt in the heart."
-Helen Keller

Thank you to all of my family and friends who thought of us on this day and called or texted us to let us know you were thinking of us. It meant a lot to us to know that she isn't forgotten and it was so nice to have the support and love from our family and friends. Thank you!

"Dolphin needed a bath"

2009-11-19T19:11:00.001-08:00

Earlier today Jackson helped me finish all my laundry and as I was getting ready to through all the blankets in the washer, I asked Jackson if he thought we should give his Ducky a bath.Who is Ducky? Ducky is a stuffed animal he got when he was a baby that he recently has become quite attached to and sleeps with him every night. He likes to tuck Ducky into his blanket with him and Ducky come with us to the grocery store. Ducky is Jackson's new buddy. But, Ducky used to be Smalls' buddy and therefore was really dirty from spending so much time outside (how Ducky was not torn to shreds along with the many other stuffed animals Smalls has gotten a hold of is beyond me). So, I have really been wanting to give him a good washing and thought today was a good day to do it. So, we gave Ducky a bath - in the washing machine. He looks good as new.

Well, as I was working on updating my blog I heard Jackson going tromping upstairs and then didn't hear much from him for a little while. I called for him and sure enough a few minutes later he comes tromping downstairs saying something about Dolphin (his stuffed dolphin - we come up with really creative names around here) and a bath. I didn't pay much attention as he walked in to the living room to see Kelly. Not even 30 seconds later I hear Kelly yell and say something about why is he soaking wet??

Basically, Jackson thought that Dolphin (who is as big as Jackson) needed a bath like Ducky, but rather than put him in the washing machine, he chose the place where he has the easiest access to large amounts of water....THE TOILET!!! So, Dolphin got a full-fledged bath in the toilet tonight and toilet water was dripped all over the floor from our bathroom downstairs to the living room. Fun times!! I did think it was pretty funny and Kelly and I both got a good laugh out of it once we realized what he had done :) He is Mr. Innocent though, isn't he...

Kendra's Wedding

2009-11-19T18:42:00.000-08:00

One of my best friends that I grew up with, Kendra, got married this past weekend!!! She looked AMAZING and the wedding turned out beautifully. Jackson had a ton of fun dancing and being a ham. And I thought he looked so handsome in his vest and tie. I wanted to share a few of the fun photos from the night...

Kendra and I after Jimbo smashed some cake in her face :)

Jackson taking a break from dancing on the dance floor.

My handsome husband and I

My other handsome guy and me :)

Halloween

2009-11-19T18:24:00.000-08:00

We had so much fun this Halloween. Jackson is at a great age and really got into everything Halloween. He loved carving pumpkins, picking out a costume, looking at all the fun decor at the stores, picking out decorations for our house, helping mommy decorate the house, reading Halloween books (his favorite was Pumpkin Jack), and watching Halloween movies. He really loved Halloween this year. He wanted to be a football player (with a little coaxing from Daddy) so we found a really good one online that came with a real helmet and everything! Nana got him a book while he was staying with them called Pumpkin Jack. He LOVED that book and he still requests to read it almost every night! I personally love the fact that he loves books so that part makes me especially happy :) Since Halloween fell on a Saturday this year, we went up to Prescott and went trick-or-treating on Mt. Vernon St. It was lots of fun and Jackson got to see Nana, Papa, Uncle Ryan, and Mimi so he was very excited!! Here some pictures from this Halloween season...

Our little pumpkin family

Jackson and his Halloween Haunted House he helped me make, he did try to eat more than he actually put on the house though...

Kelly and Jackson on Mt. Vernon St.

Nana, Jackson, and Papa trick-or-treating

Jackson and Uncle Ryan

Trick-or-treating

He was a little nervous by himself, so Daddy helped him out.

He really loved playing with his new flaslight :)

Kelly's 30th Birthday...and a new sister-in-law!

2009-11-19T17:19:00.001-08:00

My amazing husband turned 30 this year!! I knew that I wanted to something super special for him so I SURPRISED him with a trip to Chicago and Wrigley Field. It turned out perfectly and he had NO IDEA!!! I knew that the two baseball fields that Kelly really wanted to see at some point in his life were Wrigley Field and Fenway Park (Boston Red Sox), so I looked into their schedules and both teams were home the last weekend of the regular season but Cubs were actually scheduled to be playing the DIAMONDBACKS! I took it as a sign that we should go to Chicago so I started looking into flights and hotels and called Kyle (Kelly's brother) to see if him and his girlfriend Ashley would want to join in on the surprise. They were on board so the next thing I had to do was call Kelly's boss and make sure that they would be on board too and help me with the surprise end of things. They were on board so I got all the tickets and then WAITED for what seemed like FOREVER to be able surprise Kelly. I did all of this about a month before we were to fly out there and it was KILLING me trying not to spill the beans. I don't know how many times I almost said: "when we're in chicago....". But I was good and didn't say a thing!

THE BIG SURPRISE

We were flying to Chicago on a Thursday, which was perfect because Kelly has meetings Thursday and is always out the door by 6 am. So, I was able to get up early and start getting everything packed. Once I was packed I headed to Kyle's house and met him and Ashley and parents. They were so kind, they followed us to the airport with Jackson so that Kelly could say good bye to him before we left :) Meanwhile, Kelly's good friend and co-worker, Randall, told Kelly that they needed to pick up an adjustor on their way to a fire job. So, I was texting back and forth with Randall so that he knew where we were and I knew when they were gonna show up. Kelly was driving and had the most dumbfounded look on his face when he saw me, Jackson, my parents, Kyle, and Ashley standing on the curb with a bunch of luggage. Randall and Floyd who were in the car with Kelly told him to get out that they were heading to the job without him. He got out and he had NO CLUE what was going on!! It was perfect!! I told him we were headed to Chicago and Wrigley Field, but it didn't really hit him, what was going on until about an hour later after we had boarded the plane. It was too good!!

CHICAGO

We had an awesome time in Chicago, Kelly and I LOVED this city and Kelly really felt like he should be living in Chicago, there are sports fans EVERYWHERE. Everyone we met LOVED baseball, basketball, and football and would talk non-stop about it, Kelly was in heaven :) We did some fun shopping, ate at some really tummy restaurants, went to the Sear's Tower (its called something else now but I can't remember), slept in, went to Wrigley Field, ate yummy room service, and just had an awesome weekend. My highlight was eating at Frontera Grill which is one of Rick Bayless' restaurants, he has often been a judge on Top Chef (one of my favorite shows) and recently competed and WON Top Chef Masters. The food was AMAZING!!! Kelly's highlight was definitely going to Wrigley Field, I think he was more excited and emotional about being at Wrigley Field than he was on our wedding day :) Which I would have to agree that it was really, really cool being in that stadium and walking around knowing that it is almost 100 years old and that fans that long ago were walking those same walkways and playing on that same field! Such a cool vibe there!

ANOTHER SURPRISE

While we were in Chicago Kyle proposed to his girlfriend of 2 1/2 years, Ashley!!!! She of course said yes and I am so excited to have her as my sister-in-law. She's a teacher too and we get along so well and I love her to pieces!!! I can't wait for their wedding and to see Jackson (the ring-bearer) walk down the aisle in a little tux, he is going to look sooooo cute!

We had a fabulous time in Chicago and I was so excited to be able to surprise Kelly. He works so hard and takes such good care of our family, he deserved to have an extra special 30th birthday!!

Kelly in front of Wrigley Field

Kelly and I at Wrigley Field

Our view of the Diamondbacks bullpen, our seats were awesome!!

Kelly and I from the skydeck of the Sear's Tower

Ashley, my soon-to-be sister-in-law showing the bling :) This picture doesn't do her ring any justice, it is GORGEOUS!!!

Fall Festivities

2009-11-19T12:55:00.000-08:00

While we were in Chicago celebrating Kelly's 30th birthday Jackson got to spend the weekend with Nana and Papa. He had so much fun I don't think he asked for us once while he was with them. He got to go to the Pumpkin Farm and help Nana decorate for Halloween and Thanksgiving and of course played baseball with Papa and tried on some of his umpiring gear for fun.

Nana and Jackson

Jackson riding the train at the Pumpkin Farm

Sitting next to the scarecrow he helped pick out and the giant pumpkin that Nana grew in her garden this year.

Having fun at dinner with Papa

Playing with Papa's umpiring gear.

San Diego - August '09

2009-11-19T12:26:00.000-08:00

This past August we headed to San Diego for some R&R with my side of the family. We had a great time and Jackson LOVED Sea World and "Shampoo aka Shamu". My camera broke the first day of our trip so I had to steal all of these pics from my mom which is why I am posting about our trip we took in August in November :) We had a great time at the beach, we ate at a bunch of yummy restaurants including my favorite: World Famous, we went to Sea World, a Padres game, Balboa Park, and took a quick trip by my old school. It was an awesome vacation and I loved spending time with all of my family :)

Jackson running on the beach

The Voris Family at Pacific Beach

Jackson playing baseball in the kids area at Petco Park

Jackson playing baseball at Sea World (this kid will play baseball ANYWHERE!!)

The Voris and Tornquist Families at Sea World

Jackson and Uncle Ryan riding on the flying seahorse at Sea World

Jackson getting a snake painted on his face at Sea World

You can barely see them in the background, but its Jackson and Kelly riding on the flying fish ride at Sea World.

TWO!!!

2009-08-04T15:52:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that two years ago today this precious gift was given to me! Its amazing how certain memories are so clear in our minds that if feels as though they happened just yesterday, and that is how I feel about Jackson's birth. I remember August 3 calling the hospital to see if there were any beds available for inductions and if my name was any higher on the list (my due date was July 21 and being two weeks overdue in the heat of a Phoenix summer is NOT fun!). Of course I wasn't so I called my Doctor and he told me to in anyway and he would have the hospital admit me. So, on the afternoon of the 3rd I was admitted into St. Joe's and they started the induction process, 27 hours and an epidural later I was only dilated to a 3, had a 102 degree fever and Jackson's heart rate was rising so I was sent in for a Ceserean and at 9:07 PM on August 4, 2007 Jackson was born. He had an Apgar of 9 and 10. He was 8 pounds 4 ounces and 19 1/4 inches long. He had a crooked cone head and it was determined that he was trying to come through the birth canal with the wrong part of his head, thus leading me to a c-section.

This little boy has brought so much happiness into our lives. He smiles all the time and is just so happy!! He loves baseball, football, basketball, golf, basically any sport that uses a ball of some sort. He loves Thomas the Train. And just like his Daddy, this kid LOVES shoes, doesn't matter what kind, color, or size - HE LOVES THEM!!

He is learning to use the potty like a big boy, likes to sit in the big chair (no booster anymore), uses his manners, and tells me he wants a baby (somedays its a brother, somedays a sister). He is getting so big and I am so sad to see time pass by so quickly but I love seeing him learn and grow and discover new things.

Jackson, I am so thankful that you chose me to be your mother, I love you so very much and wish you a very, very Happy 2nd Birthday!!!

Back To School

2009-07-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

SO....I have finally done it. I have gone back to school....as a student. I officially became a student at the The University of Phoenix 3 weeks ago!! I am working on my Masters of Education in Special Education. I am super, super excited about it. My ideal goal is to teach at Phoenix Children's Hospital or teach children who are not able to attend regular school due to a disability, illness, accident, etc. I have always wanted to go back to get my masters degree, but never really had the motivation to do so and I also struggled with what specialty to get it in. But, I feel that this DEFINITELY what I am supposed to be doing. I feel it in my heart that this is what God had intended for me to do in the teaching field and I am so excited to embark on this journey. The only bummer...I have to do student teaching AGAIN :(

North Dakota

2009-07-06T10:14:00.001-07:00

This past week we flew up to North Dakota to visit Kelly's side of the family. I have only had the opportunity to meet his maternal grandparents once, and that was three years ago at our wedding. So, this was a fun trip for me to meet his family and really spend some quality time with them, and none of his family on his mom's side had met Jackson yet so everyone got the opportunity to meet him as well. We had an awesome time and I am really looking forward to going back! I took A LOT of pictures - 507 to be exact - so I tried to select some that will give you a good indication as to some of the things we did while we were there...

This is Kelly's Papa. He has always had a really special bond with him. His Papa was really excited to meet Jackson and although Jackson took a little while to warm up to him by the end of the trip they were great buds. On the last day we were there Jackson took a nap in his Papa's lap - it was very sweet. Kelly's Papa was recently diagnosed with cancer and will begin treatments this month - please keep him in your prayers that he is able to make a full recovery!

I always thought that Arizona had its fair share of cowboys, boy was I wrong - North Dakota is way more "cowboy" than Arizona is!! Jackson was in heaven with all the aniimals that we saw. We went to the Dickinson Rodeo on one of the nights and Jackson sat in awe for a good two hours and kept saying "one more" after each of the calf roping rounds. He loved watching the horses and the cows. I would love to have a little cowboy on my hands, Kelly on the other hand would probably prefer him to stick to his baseball :)

Although, Kelly did have fun with Jackson's cowboy hat while we were out being tourists :)

This is Kyle (Kelly's brother), his girlfriend Ashley, Kelly, Jackson, and I at a lookout over the badlands in Theodore Roosevelt National Park. I was so amazed at the amount of pride the state of North Dakota and its people had in their land and in our country. I don't think I have been somewhere that showed as much patriotism as they do. It was so refreshing! And this park was beautiful!

During our drive through the Theodore Roosevelt National Park we saw A LOT of these big guys around, even right next to the side of the road! They were oblivious to us driving by! My favorite thing about the Buffalos - even today Jackson still asks to see the pictures of the "fuffalos" and when he sees them he holds the camera up and says "cheese fuffalos"...priceless!!!

Here is Jackson and his buddy Benjamin. Benjamin is actually Kelly's cousin as he is his Aunt Stacy's oldest son. Man oh man did these two hit it off!! Benjamin introduced Jackson to cowboy boots, cowboy hats, and....THOMAS THE TRAIN!!! Jackson is now OBSESSED with "choo choo trains" and "train tracks". I am happy about that though because I love the Thomas the Train series of stuff. The shows and movies teach great values and their toys are great quality!

Jackson loves Benjamin and gets so excited when he sees pictures of him. Stacy, Jack and their two boys, Benjamin and Nicklaus are moving from Texas to Toronto this fall and we are hoping to be able to take a trip to Canada and visit with them again soon, I know Jackson would be very excited to see Benjamin again!!

One of our "tourist" stops was at Fort Lincoln. We were able to see Col. Custer's house and the barracks and the Mandan Indian Village. Jackson took a picture sitting on top of one of the original foundation slabs of the soldiers quarters at Fort Lincoln. I love visiting places like this because it is no nice to have actually been someplace that is a part of our nation's history. It makes history come alive for me and I really enjoy it. Plus, I now have some awesome pictures for when I return to the classroom!!

One of my favorite things we did on our trip was go to the Medora Musical. Medora was about 30 minutes away from Dickinson and is this little, super cute tourist town. Theodore Roosevelt had a cabin there and there is also this Musical that they have been doing in this open air amphitheatre for the past 50 years or so. The Musical changes every year but is always based on the United States, Pioneers, God, and Freedom. It was so good!! I really enjoyed it and Jackson did pretty good too, aside from throwing my empty Diet Coke bottle into the audience below us and whacking some guy in the back of the head :) This picture is in front of the Musical, it was a GORGEOUS backdrop!!!

We had such a wonderful time in North Dakota! We definitely want to get back there soon!

In My Dreams

2009-06-03T07:54:00.001-07:00

For the first time since I was pregnant with Kenley, I dreamt of her last night. I dreamt that I opened a door and behind the door was a staircase - and walking down the stairs was a little girl about 5 years old. She had a white dress on, her hair had loose light brown curls and she had a headband in her hair with a big pink flower. She had her backpack on and was ready to school. I didn't realize it was Kenley at first, until she said, "Mom, I'm ready to go". And then I woke up covered with goosebumps - it was then that I knew it was her and that she was with me...

Kenley Faith Voris Born Into Heaven November 21, 2008. "On Angels' wings, her spirit soars to heights we can only imagine..."Kenley, your little footprints may never have touched the earth, but they touched our hearts. Although our arms are empty our hearts are full knowing that you are in heaven with our Lord, waiting patiently. You are our Guardian Angel. We will be together again one day, for all eternity.All Our Love,Daddy, Mommy, and Jackson

**********

Since losing Kenley I have become quite the internet surfer. I find so much comfort in reading about other mothers/families who have lost a child. Please don't think that I take joy in reading about someone elses heartache, it is just comforting to know that I am not the only one who has gone through losing a child. It isn't easy to talk to just anyone about Kenley. But, knowing that there are so many other mothers who have lost a child, I know that I am not alone and it reminds that you can go on living, you just go on living in a different way than you did before. I learned of a website, http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/, a few months back. The woman who created this site and this project gave birth to a son, Christian, who too was born still, never having the opportunity to take a breath on this earth. Her story is amazing and what she is doing in Christian's honor is such a beautiful thing for the families who have lost a child.

Memorial Day Weekend

2009-05-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

We had an awesome Memorial Day weekend this year!! We were supposed to go out of town but at the last minute Kelly had to work Saturday morning so we changed our plans and decided to stay in town. Saturday we were invited to Saguaro Lake with some friends so once Kelly got home from work we headed there for the day. It was beautiful outside - not too hot, but hot enough so that the water felt good. Jackson didn't join us on the lake (I think he's still a little too little to be out on a lake - I'd rather wait until he knows how to swim), but he was with us the rest of the weekend! Once we got home from the lake we packed up our bags to head down the freeway a little ways to the Arizona Grand Resort. We had an AWESOME time there! Our room was nice and cozy and Jackson is used to sleeping in a bed now so we all got to sleep in both mornings :) :) :) The resort had an awesome water park/wave pool/lazy river, etc. and we basically just laid around, played in the water, and RELAXED!!! We headed to dinner at the Rustler's Rooste which is right next to the resort and had a yummy dinner. All in all it was a super fun weekend, and we will definitely be going back to this resort for a little rest and relaxation. I didn't think to take my camera out for any pictures until we were leaving the pool area but I did manage to get some really cute ones of Jackson playing in one of the fountains and a good one of him and I at dinner Sunday night...

Taylor Swift

2009-05-22T17:09:00.001-07:00

Taylor Swift, singing "Picture to Burn"

My friend Emily turns 30 next week and for her birthday her husband bought her tickets to the Taylor Swift concert - and I was lucky enough to be one of her friends that she invited to bring with her!! We had so much fun!! Taylor Swift is one incredibly talented 19 year old!!! She did a great job performing and I love that she believes in love, fairy tales, and prince charming!! I think all women & girls should :)

Allyson, Me, Amanda, Emily, Chelsea, Alexa, Paige, and Mary Kay

Emily's husband rented a limo for us girls for the night and we had so much fun! We went to the Olive Garden for some yummy dinner, headed to the show - which was opened up by Kellie Pickler - and then after the show we headed back to the East Valley to sing karaoke, and we ended our night at Denny's. It was a fun girl's night out!!

Paige and I
I think my favorite part about Taylor Swift is that all of her songs speak to you individually in some kind of way. I think that is my favorite thing about country music in general. But I do have to admit that I really, really felt like a mom at this concert because the whole time I kept thinking about how proud her parents must be of her! She is only 19 and was up on stage living her dream!! And of course I teared up more than once during the show :) I hope that my children have the opportunity to live out their dreams like Taylor Swift has!!

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-12T08:49:00.001-07:00

Grammie and Jackson in Mexico

I just wanted to take a moment to wish my Mom a very, very Happy Mother's Day! I already personally wished her one, but I wanted to do it on here too - Mom, not sure if you check this or not - but this is for you :)

My Mom is an amazing woman! She has definitely played a huge role in me becoming the mother and woman I am today. She is completely selfless, she is always putting others first, but I think she does a good job of taking time for herself too. And she is a wonderful Grammie to Jackson.

Now that I too am a mother I realize what goes into being one and I realize I probably never acknowledged my Mom enough growing up, so I thought this mother's day I would try to do that for her.

Mom, I love you so much! And thank you for all that you do for our family! Happy Mother's Day!

Jackson and I before church

So for Mother's Day this year I told Kelly I really wanted to go to Church to hear the message that was being given. It was a great message about communication. Kelly and I both left the service with a new viewpoint on communication, which is what God intended I think :) Jackson also made me a very cute bookmark in his class.

After church we went to lunch and then headed home where I was able to take a 4 1/2 hour nap!!!! With NO interruptions!!!! You can't get better than that on Mother's Day! Overall it was a pretty low-key day which was nice.

I do have to say that I am so thankful that I am even able to celebrate Mother's Day. I feel so blessed to have 2 children. Being a mother is something that I have always wanted to be and now that I am one I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING! Jackson and Kenley give my life a purpose I never thought that I would have. I approach everyday with the eyes of a mother and try to make decisions on a daily basis that will improve the quality of their life. Having a child in heaven also reminds me on a daily basis to try and live my life according to God's word so that when my time comes I can be reunited with Kenley. In the meantime though I am so thankful that I get to spend everyday with this little heartbreaker...

Jackson, I am so thankful that you chose me to your Mommy!!

Summer is a Comin'

2009-05-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows Phoenix is miserable during the summer. It is so obnoxiously HOT here, but I have to admit I kinda like it :) The heat brings back memories of playing softball EVERY weekend which I kinda miss and look forward to doing with my kids (as long as thats what they're into, and based on Jackson's interests to date, I think we will be spending A LOT of time at the baseball fields). Here are some other reasons why I am looking forward to summertime...

We can go swimming...

ALL DAY,

EVERYDAY!

if we want to...

OR, we can go to the...
SPLASH PAD!!!!

OR, play some baseball....

OR, go watch some baseball....

BUT, the best part of summer (for Jackson)....

CORN ON THE COB!!!

This kid LOVES, LOVES, LOVES Corn on the Cob! Good thing I stocked up on some at Sprouts the other day for him :)

Family Pictures

2009-04-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

We were supposed to have our family pictures taken last November by a fabulous photographer, Kristyn McBride. Unfortunately two days before we were scheduled to have them taken, I unexpectedly learned of the knews about Kenley and subsequently headed to the hospital, so needless pictures were the last thing on my mind. But, I still really wanted to get them done especially becuase Jackson is at such a fun age and I wanted to get a good family picture of us as the three of us. I know that our family isn't complete yet, but I still wanted a picture of the three us that captured the essence of who and what our family is about and Kristyn did a fabulous job of capturing that in her pics. She was so understanding of us canceling on her in November and told me that I could call her up to reschedule whenever I felt I was ready. So, we scheduled our pictures to be taken at a baseball complex that is near our home where each of the fields is a little league replica a professional baseball field. The look of the complex is really cool and I thought that since Jackson and basically every other male in our family is OBSESSED with baseball that it really would be the perfect place for pictures. Unfortunately Jackson was quite the sour puss and would not smile AT ALL!!! That was until I went and bought him a tub of popcorn from the concession. And then he would only smile if he had the popcorn in hand. But, I really didn't want a bunch of pictures of him holding a tub of popcorn so Kristyn was kind to let us reschedule YET AGAIN so that we could get some really good shots of Jackson when he was not being a sour puss with a tub of popcorn :) So we did a second shoot at her home, which is BEAUTIFUL!!! So, finally after having to reschedule 3 times, we have an awesome set of proofs to choose from. Here are some of our favorites!!

A Haircut, Some Baseball, and 4 Stitches...

2009-03-13T06:35:00.000-07:00

We have been quite busy lately. Kelly and I have been trying to do some stuff to and around our house. It is slowly transforming itself into "our home". Somedays I wish that I could win the lottery so that I can do everything that I want to it :) I just need to practice patience. Jackson just gets bigger everyday! He learns new words all the time and continues to be such a blessing in our lives! The weather has been awesome. So we have been taking advantage of it and been spending a lot of time outside. Jackson has been enjoying his new swing set/sandbox that we have up in our backyard - and of course Smalls enjoys it with him :)

Kelly and I both hoped that Jackson would be lucky enough to get Kelly's hair - unfortunately he has my hair :( No curls, just straight, thin, fine hair. We were hoping to grow it out a little. But I felt like he was just starting to look a little scraggly around the edges so I took him in for his first "official" hair-cut. My friend Paige has cut his hair once before for me, but he was in my lap, this time he sat in the chair all by himself and there was no crying! He did so good! I have yet to take a picture of the finished product, but I will post one soon.

What we would do if we didn't make some annual trips to the ER with a rowdy little boy? This past Saturday we were at our friends, Matt and Angie's house, to hang out and watch the fights and sure enough Jackson was being a little monkey and jumping on their daughter, Aubrey's bed. And just like in the book, he fell off, bumped his head, and we were on our way to the doctor. 4 hours later we left the ER with 4 stitches in his head. Thankfully he recovered just fine. We visited the Dr. yesterday and the stitches are already out, but here is what they looked like the day after...

A big perk of living in Phoenix is Spring Training! Typically we have gone to Surprise for games since my friend Kendra is in charge of the Spring Training out there, but since we are now in Gilbert it is just too far of drive for a game so we went to the Cubs Spring Training in Mesa this past weekend and had so much fun! We took our niece Dezirae with us and met up with some friends of ours that work with Kelly. Kelly's Dad also met us at the game. We went the day after Jackson got his stitches so you get to see the bandage before he asked me to take it off. It was such a beautiful day and we had a lot of fun, too bad I didn't get to see more of the game though. I was too busy chasing after Jackson the whole time!

Although Jackson seemed to be running around throughout the ENTIRE baseball game, he must have picked up a few skills while he was there, check out this video taken the day after we went to the game...

Who knows, maybe one day we'll be going to a spring training game to watch Jackson???

Bobby and LaLaLaLa

2009-02-25T17:53:00.000-08:00

Toddler talk is one of my favorite things to hear, and my own toddler's words are by far my most favorite things to hear. My two favorite words that he says? Bobby and LaLaLaLa. What do they mean - well, I am Bobby and LaLaLaLa is for banana. I love hearing him say these words and I seriously need to get them recorded on video so that I can cherish these little moments forever! He is just so incredibly cute and I love him to death. This is a picture of him enjoying his LaLaLaLa the other morning. Such a cutie :) And I really love that bed head!

M.I.S.S. Foundation

2009-02-23T15:48:00.000-08:00

I find it so amazing how many people I have come to learn about that have experienced a stillbirth. Before losing Kenley, I had never met anyone who I was aware of having had a stillbirth. But in the past 3 months I think I have met or spoken with around 5 people who had a child who was stillborn. It is amazing to me how prominent stillbirth is yet it is something that is rarely discussed. This afternoon I called the Dentist's office to schedule some appointments for Kelly. I had to speak with the Office Manager because Kelly has missed some of his appointments in the past and I had to convince her that he would not miss these appointments! In the midst of my pleading to allow Kelly back as a patient I mentioned that he missed 2 of his appointments while we were in the hospital dealing with the loss of a child. Long story short, the Office Manager lost her child when she was 24 weeks along also. Needless to say, we spoke of our situations over the phone for around 10 minutes. It was so nice to speak with someone who has been through my situation and knows exactly how I am feeling! She actually shared some great information with me that I was not aware of and would now like to share it with you! Maybe you know someone who has lost a child who was stillborn or maybe you have experienced it, basically I just want to spread the word!

We only received a death certificate for Kenley. We were never even made aware that we had the capability to receive a birth certificate for Kenley. There is this awesome organization, the M.I.S.S. Foundation. It was created to provide immediate and ongoing support for families that have lost a child to stillbirth or early infancy death. It also promotes awareness for stillbirth and early infancy death. If you would like more information about this organization you can visit www.missfoundation.org. This organization was the force behind legislation passing the bill that allows families to receive birth certificates for a child that was born still. Even more cool, Arizona was the FIRST state to pass this!

A Few Thoughts...

2009-02-16T15:59:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was Valentine's Day, and typically I don't really make a big deal of it and neither does Kelly. He ususally gets me a card and some flowers but other than that we don't typically do much. Last year I can't even remember what we did, I think we just stayed home and hung out with Jackson. But, this year my parents were in town because my dad was umpiring some baseball games at some fields near our home so they offered to baby-sit for us. Kelly and I had a really good night just hanging out by ourselves. We went to sushi and were going to go see Slum-dog Millionaire afterwards, but we were pooped and thought we might fall asleep during the movie so we exchanged our tickets for passes and came home early :) We decided that that was our sign that we are getting older - we thought we would fall asleep during the 9:55 showing of a movie!

The morning of Valentine's Day I got up early to go to the gym and get a workout in. The instructor did something unique for Valentine's Day and asked everybody to think of someone that they were going to work out in honor of for that day. Once we chose that someone we had to write their name on a heart and pin to our shirt during the workout. I chose Kenley. So, I picked out a pink heart and wrote her name on it and then all of sudden I just got really sad. I finished my work out but for the rest of the morning I was just sad. I don't know why it hit me so hard that morning but it did, and I just feel like I have been sad ever since then. I think what really has me bothered right now is that her due date is quickly approaching. I knew that it would be harder for me as it got closer to her due date and I guess maybe its just finally hitting me - I don't know. But, I decided that I wanted to share some things with the family and friends who read this blog. And if no one reads this, its okay at least I am able to get my thoughts out of my head and into words.

About a month before we lost Kenley I started reading a blog that my friend Nordy mentioned in her blog. The blog belongs to a mother whose son only survived a precious 16 minutes on this earth. It was kind of ironic that I had begun following her blog. At first as I read her story and her words about her son and her loss I could only sympathize for her, now I can empathize with her. I have never met her, and probably never will, but her blog has been something that I have come to enjoy reading as I feel as though I have someone that I can share feelings with. Here is a link to her blog if you are interested, Isaac's Story. Shortly before we lost Kenley, Isaac's mom posted a blog about a tile she had made for Isaac. Once we were home from the hospital I was online and was reminded about that tile. We had one made for Kenley.

It turned out awesome and it looks fabulous on display next to a precious picture of her footprints :) The company does a lot of other kinds of stuff that is really neat. You can check out their website, Engraved Euniques.

Jackson and Smalls...BFFs

2009-02-03T13:30:00.000-08:00

So, as I was at the computer typing up my post about Kenley, Jackson spilled my water on the bench next to me. I look over and see our dog, Smalls, licking it up. Not even 2 minutes later I see Jackson walk up to the bench and lean over to start licking up the water too, just like his BFF Smalls. It was so stinkin' cute and funny that I had to take a few pictures before I told him that was yucky. I then took some pics of the two playing together. They seriously are the best of friends and even though I originally thought Kelly getting me a dog for Mother's Day wasn't that cool, I am now so thankful that these two are growing up together and able to be such good buds! Smalls may be HUGE and a handful at times, but when it comes to Jackson he just loves him and is so gentle with him, even when Jackson leans down and BITES THE CRAP out of him!! Yes, our son is a mini-vampire - he loves to BITE!! Maybe I should have him audition for Twilight :)

Kenley Faith

2009-02-03T12:45:00.001-08:00

As many of you know, this past November our daughter Kenley was stillborn. I haven't really written much about it because at first it was a little difficult. It gets easier to talk about as time moves on. I have been wanting to post something on here because everyday I read a few other blogs who are written by other moms who have lost an infant and reading there blogs has been HUGELY therapeautic for me. So, I thought that maybe me writing about my experience having lost my child just might be helpful to someone else. If not, at least it is a means for me to say whats on my mind about the situation.

So, here is the story of Kenley Faith. We found out that we were expecting July 5, 2008. I was pretty sure I was because jsut like with Jackson I had insomnia for the entire week leading up to us finding out. It was very exciting and I was really looking forward to this baby and Jackson being so close together in age. I was also pretty sure that we were having a girl this time because I had 2 dreams in the beginning of my pregnancy that it was a girl - and with Jackson I had dreams that he was a boy before we found out too. We were very excited once it was confirmed that she indeed was a girl. We had already been tossing around ideas for names and shortly after we knew she was a girl we chose the name Kenley but had yet to choose a middle name for her. I of course had been looking at baby stuff since I knew I was pregnant and quickly chose to go with the color scheme of pink and black for her room. My mom and I picked out a crib and ordered it but that was the only thing we had gotten by the time I went in for my 6 month check up.

I was 23 1/2 weeks when I went in for my Dr. appt. on November 20. I was a little worried because I had noticed the night before my visit that I hadn't felt her move that evening or the evening before. I had gotten out some of my books and a lot of them said that at my stage in pregnancy depending on the positioning of the baby you may not feel her move so I tried to assume that was what it was. But, in hindsight I think I knew that something was off I just didn't acknowledge it at the time. My Dr. turned on the ultrasound machine and immediately I knew. She wasn't moving in the ultarsound and I couldn't see the flutter of her heartbeat. A few seconds later I heard him tell me, "I am sorry but I have some bad news...". Her heart was no longer beating. He told me that based on her measurements she had grown since my last visit but that she wasn't as large as she should have been for my stage in pregnancy. So he believed that she had died sometime in the week and a half prior to my visit. From that point he finished the ultrasound looking for indications as to what might have happened and then he went over what I was to do next. I had to bed admitted to the hospital and induced so that I could deliver my child who had died inside of me. Thankfully my Dr. let me leave out the back of his office and I then had to call Kelly. It is so weird but he told me later that he had a really bad feeling that day when he woke up and knew something was wrong. I guess I did too, I just didn't want to acknowledge it. We went in to the hospital that evening. They started the induction process, but just like with Jackson, nothing happened. By the next day I had made no progress and my Dr. told me my options - I could either continue the induction process and they could me more aggressive or I could choose to have another c-section, the only problem being because of my stage of pregnancy I would have to a vertical incision through my uterus rather than a horizontal incision. Choosing to use the more aggressive indcution drugs would have put me at a greater risk of having a uterine rupture because I had a c-section with Jackson so Kelly and I decided to have the c-section. So, at 1:47 pm on November 21, 2008 Kenley Faith Voris was born. She weighed 1 lb. 1.2 oz. and was 11 1/4 inches long. It was by far the hardest day that Kelly and I have experienced. We were given the option to see her afterwards. I really wanted to, Kelly on the other hand I think didn't want to but did for me. God must have placed Angles around us that afternoon because I was able to sit there and hold me daughter and cherish that time with her. I didn't cry. I was able to hold her and take in all of her little features. She was absolutely perfect, just incredibly tiny. She had the most perfect hands and feet. I think that it is so amazing that even being that small she had her own unique set of footprints and handprints that thankfully we were able to get a copy of. She had a little head of dark hair, just like Jackson did when he was born. That afternoon was amazing and I am so thankful to have had that time with her, along with the 23 1/2 weeks that I was blessed to have her in my belly.

The hospital staff was amazing. They treated us so well and even put together a book for us. Our family and friends were amazing also. My parents were able to come down and stay at our house with Jackson, bringing him to the hospital everyday to visit us. We got so many beautiful bouquets of flowers, I was quite sad when they began to die, my house looked so pretty with them. THANK YOU to everyone for your prayers and support.

Losing Kenley has most definitely been the hardest thing that I have ever had to face. Kelly too. Thankfully my husband is so incredibly in love with the Lord and assures me all the time that he knows that Kenley is with Him. Having that knowledge that she is with the Lord has really gotten me through the difficult times. I know that she is our Angel Baby up in Heaven looking down on us waiting for us to join her for all eternity. It was our faith in knowing the Lord and the faith that we have in knowing that she is in Heaven that guided us to choose her middle name, Faith. And because of her, my faith in God has reached an entirely new level. Of course I miss her each and everyday, and there are days where I am just very sad and yearn to hold her in my arms again, and there are days where I get very mad and ask "why us?". But, I know deep down why and I know that God was not punishing us. He had his reasons and I respect those reasons. But, man of man, I am just so thankful to have this precious little girl waiting for me up and heaven and I will do everything that I can to ensure that that is where I go when it is time for me to leave this earth!

Kenley Faith Voris
1 lb 1.2 oz 11 1/4 inches ~ November 21, 2008

Vegas Baby!

2009-02-02T17:06:00.000-08:00

So, this past weekend we were invited to go to Vegas with some friends of ours! Kelly goes A LOT to watch the UFC fights, but I have only gone one other time so I was really excited to be invited to again! We had so much fun hanging out, dancing, watching the fight, watching the Cardinals ALMOST clinch the Super Bowl title, and meeting a few celebrities!! Friday night we went to XS inside the Encore Hotel and Casino. Saturday was even better though, that afternoon while eating lunch we saw Chuck Liddel. Our friend Jason called him over to our table and asked to take a picture with him. He was really nice and said yes, Emily got in on the action and got a picture with him too!! I will post those later once I get those pictures on my computer. He was a BIG guy!! Super nice, and cute too :) That night we went to the fight which was so good. I was amazed at how in shape Georges St-Pierre was! From there we went to LAX inside the Luxor and got to see and meet Wilmer Valderrama, Dana White, and Joe Rogan. Dana White was hosting an after-fight party and was so nice. He walked around and introduced himself to everyone and took pictures with everyone. It was fun! Kelly and I got a picture with him and will post the better one later once I get that one on my computer. On Sunday we hung out at our hotel and watched the BIG GAME downstairs in the bar. The game was projected on the wall and we had a cozy couch to sit and watch the game on. It was such a good game, and I am proud to say that I was able to refrain from biting my nails! It has now been 6 weeks of me not biting my nails which is such a huge accomplishment - though I did peel ALL of the polish off during the game, especially those last 2 minutes!!

We had so much fun in Vegas, we were so thankful to be invited to go!! But, I do have to say that I was happy to come home and see my little man who got to spend the weekend with his Grammie and Grampie in Prescott! We missed him so much - all weekend Kelly and I kept telling each other, "Man, I really miss Jackson!". It was also so nice to get some good sleep!

Emily, Briana, and Me @ XS

Me, Randall, Emily, and Kelly @ XS

Me, Dana White, and Kelly @ LAX

Go Cardinals!

2009-01-29T16:54:00.001-08:00

Our family is all about sports and we are huge fans of all the Arizona teams, so we were especially excited about the Cardinals making it to the Super Bowl this year! Jackson was quite excited also cheering them on during the NFC Championship game. This child was born a sports fan and has been surrounded by nothing but sports. The pics above are from last football season tailgating before a game. The pics below were taken during the NFC Championship game. I just love how excited this little boy gets over sports! It is so much fun to watch!

28

2009-01-20T13:47:00.000-08:00

So, this past Saturday was my birthday and I had so much fun! For Christmas Kelly got me and my mom each a gift certificate to Dolce Spa for a day of pampering and we used them on my birthday. It was so much fun to just relax and hang out with my mom for the day. That evening Kelly, my parents, and I went down to Tempe for Dinner and then we headed over to Gammage to see The Lion King. It was awesome! I love watching live shows, but this one was exceptional! I hope it comes back through town in a few years when Jackson is a little older because I think that he would love it!! Thank you to Kelly and my parents for such an awesome day!!

Merry Christmas...a little belated

2009-01-19T13:13:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! We hope that all of our family friends had a wonderful holiday season! I really had every intention of keeping this blog updated but we have been crazy-busy since Christmas and I haven't even had a chance to download pictures from my camera until today!

Christmas was so fun this year! Even though Jackson really didn't understand it, he still really enjoyed all of the lights and the decor. Anything he saw that was Christmas related, he would yell out "SANTA!". It was so funny. We were supposed to have our family pics done in November, but with everything that happened with Kenley we weren't able to. One day Jackson came walking into the room and wanted me to put his Santa hat on him so I did and he was very cooperative as I took some pics of him. They turned out so cute that I couldn't resist using one of them for a Christmas card, and the saying is perfect since this year everything Christmas was "SANTA!" to him.

"Say Cheese"

2008-12-16T08:30:00.000-08:00

It's the common thing for many people to say, "say cheese" whenever we're trying to take a picture, and I definitely say it a lot, especially when taking pictures of Jackson. I think that it is so funny how quickly he has realized that I am wanting him to do "something" when I am taking his picture. So, he has started making this face when I say it, basically its a forced smile, but I think that it is so stinkin' cute!

First Blog

2008-12-10T12:54:00.000-08:00

So, I attempted to get this blog up and going this past summer and it never happened. But, one of my New Year's resolutions for '09 is to keep this blog up to date so that our family and friends can see what we have been up to, especially those who live out of town and don't get to see Jackson as often as they like. I am not the best and sending out new pics of the little man so I figure I can post them on here :) Also, I would like to begin journaling and keeping a record of the little day to day things that Jackson, Kelly, and I do. That way down the road Kelly, Jackson, our future children, and myself can look back and remember those precious little memories as I am sure that many of them will fade with time! This blog will be one aspect of that journaling that we can turn to.

Anyway, I hope that you enjoy checking out our blog periodically! Here are some cute recent pics of Jackson that I thought some of you might enjoy!!

P.S. These PJ's were Kelly's when he was a kid - how cute is that!